Thursday, 15 December 2011

Top 10 warning signs of the soon to be undead

10. Your colleague who was about to walk past you in the corridor takes a sudden detour to the men's room.

9. There's an HR intern hovering around nervously in the distance, watching you closely while pretending to examine some blank papers in her hand.

8. A man in a security guard uniform is fixing the perfectly good photocopying machine and if you look really closely you can see an earpiece.

7. Are they really boarding up the windows ?

6 You walk in to your boss's office for a meeting and the HR person is sitting there with him.

5. The overweight son of a bitch actually gets up to greet you for the first time in his life.

4. He's suddenly your best friend and knows your personal life. Last week he asked about your girlfriend (you're been married forever, same as the previous meeting), your three kids (last of whom is not even conceived of being conceived) and your pet cat (a dog, actually but hey, an animal is an animal). Now he even knows their names and what they are doing and that your labrador is recently neutered. Like you are about to be.

3. There's a white envelope lying on the table in front of him while he's talking. And a brown paper bag.

2. He finally puts on a steely look and starts a sentence with  ''Can I be frank with you", so you know he's about to start lying through his teeth.

1. He talks and talks but all you hear is 'Yadda Yadda Yadda'

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