Saturday, 17 December 2011

Suddenly you are undead

December 17, 2011

You walk around the corridors for the month that you are permitted to stay in the company

But nobody seems to see you.

Your blackberry doesn't vibrate and you get no emails (other than the ones from justgiving). Even the spammers seem to think you no longer need more hair  or viagra.

The 150 emails a day have disappeared.

You don't need to switch your mobile phone on silent. It's not going to ring unless you call it yourself. I try that a few times to look busy but it's a bit difficult to talk on your landline while listening on your mobile. I think people were starting to notice.

Nobody seems to talk to you. Well, not other than platitudes most of which focus on why this is the best thing that could have happened to you and how your life will change for the better. Inside you can see them leaping up and down,  pumping their fists and saying 'Yessss that was a bullet dodged for me'

The whole environment is a bit like a crunch hole in a golf game and you hit your drive out of bounds. No matter how poker faced your playing partner's 'Hard Luck' is, you know that his heart is turning cartwheels.

Yes, suddenly you are undead. You consume space, air, and coffee, but do you really exist in the office ?

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